So is it really true that a husband loses interest in his wife after pregnancy? Reports claim that every one in three women feel that their husbands do not find them attractive anymore after child birth.
Almost half of women surveyed accused their husbands of ‘forgetting’ who they were since they became a mother. A mere 12 per cent said their husband termed them as ‘feminine’ while 69 per cent said they were termed as ‘tired’.
Pyschologist Seema Hingoranny cites an example about a man who came for counselling saying that it was as it becoming difficult handling a crying baby and now he has a crying wife too. “Men feel their wives become unapproachable and too senstive to things. They prefer to maintain a little distance and women usually misintepret this action of theirs”, she says.
Stress counsellar, Yatri Thakkar refutes this myth saying it is just a matter of time, “Women undergo a lot of hormonal changes and become moody. They usually end up having a low self-esteem post pregnancy. As time passes everything becomes normal.”
A phenomenon called as mumnesia by researchers, women say they forget what they were as a person before birth and change completely. But Hingoranny feels that couples should not throw intimacy out of the window. “Take that extra step to dress well, spend some quality time with him and initiate things. He will feel the effort and definitely reciprocate,” she says.
Fun things for a husband to do after childbirth
1. You can make early morning bed tea for her. It’ll bring a smile on her face the first thing in the morning.
2. Share her work after you come back from office. You can help by bringing the vegetables or dusting the house.
3. Take her for outings and spend time with her.
4. Take snaps of both of them and make a collage. Looking back at old snaps is a great bonding exercise.
5. Give her an ocassional massage. Make her relax and play music for her. It’ll lighten her mood.
6. You can bring books regarding baby care. It will make both of you more aware about your new born.