Cheating on your wife or girlfriend is for wimps. There, I said it. Feeling guilty? Feeling like you may know exactly what I’m talking about? Then you’re in the right place, because I’m going to give you a stern talking-to, sir. If you have no idea what I mean, then consider this research for your future self.
Relationships are work. They are hard work. In the beginning, it’s all super exciting and you feel like a kid who just got that X-mas gift you dreamed of for months. If it is the real deal, both parties feel this excitement that permeates through all aspects of your life. You can almost become insufferable to your friends with that endless smile and extra spring in your happy step. As time goes on, however, we all know that even the best starts are followed by the reality of making a relationship work. There’s that word; work. Doesn’t sound fun, does it? Well people, anything worth having is worth working for…and anybody that takes the route of infidelity is simply saying to the world that they don’t have what it takes to step up when the stepping is required.
In John Stamos’ new movie, My Man Is a Loser, his character Mike is a consummate bachelor leaping from one ‘sexcapade’ to another and happily enjoying life. His two pals Marty and Paul (Michael Rapaport and Bryan Callen) are well into their marriages and facing the realities of keeping things exciting and keeping themselves interesting to their wives.
But here’s what makes this plot interesting and worthy of some discussion for us adults. These two ordinary men do the unthinkable in the realm of modern sex comedies: they enlist help to keep their wives interested in them. Huh? I know… this is whack. Aren’t they supposed to b*tch to their buddies and seek the affections of younger women or have an affair with their “sexy office assistant” after going through a midlife crisis? Nope. Sorry guys… these are real men. And here’s why…
If you’ve ever been in a real committed relationship, you know that there are going to be ups and downs. And if you know anything about the word “commitment,” you understand that it means there are other words that are associated with that — “responsible,” “trustworthy” and “loyal” come to mind. These words are the same traits that could be associated with any hero in any challenging avenue of life. They conjure an image of a man that steps up when things get tricky and can be counted on overall. Those are traits of a man.
And guess what, boys… those are the same traits that a quality woman looks for in a man. If you think you’re this type of guy, well, good for you. You may stand a chance at meeting a great woman. But when it comes to love, it’s only when things get tough that you’ll really know whether you were right or just lying to yourself. Choosing to cheat and blow up the relationship — as opposed to trying to work through things — is a surefire sign you’re not the man you thought you were.
Cheating happens (in most cases) where things get hard or boring for one or both parties and they seek satisfaction elsewhere. Whether it’s the guy or the girl, it becomes about looking for something outside the relationship that you’re no longer getting within. But have you really tried to dig for it? Have you really exhausted all your options before giving up completely and seeking some emotional or physical connection in the arms of another?
My bet would be that most people give up a little too quickly and don’t do the work. They forget the true value of what they’ve built and how far they’ve come. It is easy to walk away, but it is a strong person who fights to get back what was once his or hers. If the relationship you built was something you wanted and made happen, then would you not fight for it? Something you’ve put so much of our time into is worth more than just spoiling it on a whim. That’s the easy way out. And if you’ve come all this way in a real romantic relationship, you both deserve more than that.